Skip to main content

Ice cream sandwich: not a sandwich

There seems to be a rising sentiment to define the limits of sandwichdom before delving deep into sandwichcentric debate. Fair enough.

Here's a start: ice cream sandwiches are not sandwiches. They are sandwich-like, in that they are ice cream sandwiched between two cookies, but that doesn't make them a sandwich.

I've struggled in the past to decide what the boundaries are. Once, I called snack crackers a sandwich and for that, I apologize — I was wrong.

But I think I've stumbled on the truth today. The truth-test is simple. If you declare "I'm going to eat a sandwich," might your audience potentially expect you to be referring to the sandwich in question? If so, it's a sandwich. If not, it's not.


You're doing it wrong
Guy about to eat some ice cream: I'm about to eat a sandwich!
Random bro: Cool.
GATESIC: (Pulls out an ice cream sandwich and takes a bite.)
RB: Wtf.

You're on the level, bro
Guy about to eat a chicken sandwich: I'm about to eat a sandwich!
Random bro: Cool.
GATEACS: (Pulls out a chicken sandwich and takes a bite.)
RB: Niiiiice.

See? If you're about to eat something you're not sure is a sandwich, play the test out in your head to find out whether what you're about to eat is, in fact, a sandwich. It works for wraps, burgers, hot dogs, open-faced sandwiches ... anything, really.


Justin James said…
Thank god this is settled!!! Now I can walk down the street Turkey Leg in hand and enjoy the calmness in the world once again! Great dialogs backing your claim. All I can do is agree with you - ye ol' sandwich aficionado!
Justin James said…
I think you might chose another photo for your post - possibly a fellow pondering sandwiches with a lens flare jutting across the background would do just nicely.
Alex Headrick said…
Woah, woah. Let's leave turkey legs out of this. And let's not be hating on MS clip art.
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said…
It all seems so clear now.

Thank you

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Pepperhouse Gourmaise

Being that Big Condiment still seems to think Mustardayonnaise  is a joke, I've been forced to seek out a suitable alternative. This search led me to Boar's Head's " Pepperhouse Gourmaise " spread. According to Boar's Head, Pepperhouse Gourmaise is "real mayonnaise with a touch of Boar's Head Deli Mustard and a house blend of black, white, pink and green peppercorns." They also claim that it goes well with poultry, beef and pork. What a pepperhouse might look like if it were a thing ( photo by Justin Sachtleben ) I can confirm that it goes well with poultry and pork (or at least ham — I haven't tried it with any other pig-meats). And the quality of the ingredients seems to live up to Boars Head's high standards. As a black pepper kind of guy, I'm impressed by their fancy pink peppercorns. Still, I can't say I'm satisfied with B.H.P.G. Its color is off-putting and the peppercorns hurt my teeth. And while it's deci

Kewpie Mayonnaise: Disturbing but delicious

After years of waffling , I finally took the dive and purchased a bottle of Kewpie mayo. Kewpie mayo's premium price and disturbing packaging had previously prevented me from buying it, but Grub Street blogger Ian Knauer's Flavor Ammo post about it convinced me to give the baby-themed mayo a chance. For the unfamiliar, Kewpie is a popular Japanese brand of mayonnaise that's often found in gourmet specialty stores, such as Eastern District in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It's also currently available for 10 bucks on Amazon . The package features a standing baby that could easily serve as a homicidal doll in a horror story. Adding to the unease brought about by the package, the mayonnaise comes in a bag. I can't be alone in my belief that a bag is a completely inappropriate container for mayonnaise. Because of these setbacks, Kewpie mayo takes some getting used to. Now that I've come to terms with the unsettling packaging, I've probably topp

McCriollo: The Puerto Rican Egg McMuffin

36 drafted, unpublished posts and and half a year down ... it's time to start posting again. Let's start simple, with breakfast sandwiches and cultural differences. Last weekend, I went to Puerto Rico on a work trip, and had breakfast at the airport's McDonald's on my way back home . I really wanted an EggMcMuffin -- a favorite I haven't had in a long time. Yet the #1 combo on the menu offered only the mysterious "McCriollo," and there were no English Muffin sandwiches to be found. Apparently the advantages gained by the English muffin's nooks and crannies are under appreciated in the island of enchantment. Undeterred, I took the opportunity to find out what San Juan had to offer in the spongy anglo-muffin's stead. The McCriollo turned out to be about the same as an EggMcMuffin except on a decent chewy/crispy split bun. The name translates to "McCreole," which may make more sense in Puerto Rico, but sounded like wishful marketing to