A version of this — the " Swiss cheese mode l" of mistakes — was drawn on a whiteboard in a meeting at my job the other day. In this case, I'm using it to illustrate the hazards of misinformed cheese buying, and the sense of loss you will feel when eating a low-fat alternative to the flavor you crave. For years I bought the two similar-looking Swiss cheeses interchangeably, never investigating the difference between them. In a long line at the deli counter the other day, I got on my phone and learned Lacy Swiss is a lower fat, lower salt alternative to regular Swiss, while Baby Swiss is a milder full-fat version. I tried both and came to the realization that Lacy Swiss is a sad substitute for regular or Baby Swiss' satisfying cheesiness. Lacy Swiss is a hollow lie masquerading as the real deal. Barring some kind of mandatory, doctor-enforced sodium diet, I plan to keep Lacy far away from my sandwiches from this day forward.