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[censored] sandwich: a sandwich conspiracy

At what point does a sandwich become dangerous?

That's the question I'm faced with as I consider a disturbing, recently unveiled plot to silence sandwich speakers at my workplace. This week, I learned from a pair of respected colleagues that the phrase "turkey sandwich" is not allowed on our network's chat client.

Previously, I was baffled by Messenger's rejection of the word "jerk." "You're a jerk," I said, and it told me the message couldn't be delivered. I was forced to say, "You're a j-erk," which wasn't nearly as satisfying.

Now, I find out that I can't even say "I want a turkey sandwich." I can say "I want turkey, in sandwich form," or "I want a turkey-filled sandwich," though. Why? What's so wrong about the words turkey and sandwich joining together?

The same intrepid friends who broke the case dug deeper, checking Urban Dictionary for a hidden, sexy meaning behind the sandy name. But all it revealed is that "turkey sandwich" is a way to instruct someone to run, like saying "cheese it!" Urban Dictionary also suggests "turkey sandwhich" is an obscure term for oral sex, but then, what isn't?

Am I missing something? Why would the phase possibly be blocked?


Justin James said…
This is an outrage! I am so angry about this. I am going to track down this list and expose it to the masses!
Alex Headrick said…
Set the truth free, Brother Justin.
Michael said…
My workplace has a similar food-related Messenger bias toward pastries (i.e. hair pie).

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