SSS: So we started screamin’ on such a winter’s day

Signature Cold California Dreamin’ Sandwich Regular
Purchased from Safeway in Thornton, Colo.

This sandwich review concludes Round One of the Supermercado Sandy Spectacular. Safeway secured its crown with this easy win over Albertsons’ cheesy mayo heart attack wrap and King Soopers’ cran-turkey disaster quasi-sandy. As follows is a recap of S-Way’s first place finish.

Contents:

• Turkey, bacon, tomato, guacamole, carpet slipper bread, mayonnaise

Problems:

• Tomatoes sliced too thin; barely noticeable
• Bacon overpowering and dominates taste
• Mayo is unnecessary, as the bacon provides plenty of savoriness. I would have preferred more guacamole of the bread bottom instead of the mayo.

Props:

• Generous use of guacamole on the top breadbottom of the sandwich
• Guac-lovers take note — Safeway has a liberal guacamole policy. Many places, worst of all fast-causal burrito joints (I would link to Chipotle’s site here, but it's too annoying), cruelly charge anywhere from 75 cents to $1.75 extra for a blob of guacamole. These shysters are no better than the oil barons. As big a rip-off as the guac scheme is, it’s still tempting to pay for it. Safeway’s cool; they just dish up the guac and send you on your way.
• Biggest sandwich of the three-market tour

Half of this sandwich would have sufficed as a lunch entrée, but I feared the guacamole would turn brown by the time I got it home hours later. I have doubts about this being a California-inspired sandwich. The guacamole was Cali-themed, but the bacon should have been replaced by sprouts for me to really believe.

And now, a non-sandy tangent from which I won’t return:

While eating this sandwich in my car in the Safeway parking lot, I couldn’t help but notice that a large black and chrome bus had parked beside my car while I was buying my sandy. In white lettering, the bus said:

BLACK TIE LIMO BUS
“We ain’t never had too much fun”
www.blacktielimobus.com

I visited the site and I must admit, it appears they really ain’t had too much fun. I guess the claim stands. I failed to take any pictures of this sandwich, so the photos here instead represent some of the fun had on the Black Tie Limo Bus in 2006.

The back of the bus featured two identical bumper stickers promoting local yee-ha radio station KYGO. They both urged anyone driving behind the bus to “Honk if you honky tonk.”

I wonder if people who honky tonk ever honk when they see these stickers.

More so, I wonder what it means to honky tonk. I’m fully convinced, despite knowing nothing about the activity, that I wouldn’t like honky tonking. I kind like “Honky Tonk Woman,” but nowhere near as much as “Paint It, Black” or “Sympathy for the Devil.”