Skip to main content

A review: Starbucks’ Black Forest and Ham Breakfast Sandwich

Come this fall, Starbucks will no longer offer breakfast sandwiches. Apparently, people care. I’m reassured that others feel as passionately about sandwiches as I do.

Due to a glut of Starbucks gift cards, I’ve been forced to spend unprecedented amounts of time in the venerable Seattle-based coffee chain’s many locations, a slave to plastic-enabled freeness.

These were the circumstances as I opted to eat at Starbucks instead of Queens’ famed Redwood Deli, which was next door. Making the incorrect but affordable choice, I decided to make the best of things by trying a soon-to-be-extinct Starbucks breakfast sandwich. Eying the pastry case offerings, I opted for the “oven toasted and delicious” Black Forest and Ham Breakfast Sandwich for $2.95 plus tax (more importantly, free with gift card).

Overall, the sandwich disappointed me, but it wasn’t without its positive points. To wit:
  • The barista/sandwich artist was polite and and served the thing on a proper white plate — two things I haven’t experienced buying breakfast sandwiches at D’n’D.
  • The sandwich looked appetizing, featuring an abnormally large and tasty looking English muffin.
  • The sandy was quick to eat and filling.
  • The Starbucks did not reek of egg following the sandy’s preparation. However, I have an awful sense of smell, so maybe it did.
Pluses aside, this sandwich had big problems. Not as many as the now-scorched, homemade grilled cheese I’m presently forcing down, but I expect more from paid sandwich makers.

Negative points, also to wit:
  • The cheese, although it has a good cheddar bite, overpowers one’s palate.
  • In contrast, the titular ham barely registers. Its Black Forest origins are suspect. Where’s the shaved coconut?
  • The egg disc huge and unappealing.
  • The overall wore out its welcome before I could finish the sandy, turning the meal into a war of attrition that I ultimately won, luckily.
The whole experience taught me the following mathematical junk food breakfast sandwich truism:

Homemade > Egg McMuffin > D’n’D egg ’n’ bacon sandy > The ’Bucks’ doomed offering

Note: Sandwich photo is not my own; is via flickr user chrisheuer.


Popular posts from this blog

Review: Pepperhouse Gourmaise

Being that Big Condiment still seems to think Mustardayonnaise  is a joke, I've been forced to seek out a suitable alternative. This search led me to Boar's Head's " Pepperhouse Gourmaise " spread. According to Boar's Head, Pepperhouse Gourmaise is "real mayonnaise with a touch of Boar's Head Deli Mustard and a house blend of black, white, pink and green peppercorns." They also claim that it goes well with poultry, beef and pork. What a pepperhouse might look like if it were a thing ( photo by Justin Sachtleben ) I can confirm that it goes well with poultry and pork (or at least ham — I haven't tried it with any other pig-meats). And the quality of the ingredients seems to live up to Boars Head's high standards. As a black pepper kind of guy, I'm impressed by their fancy pink peppercorns. Still, I can't say I'm satisfied with B.H.P.G. Its color is off-putting and the peppercorns hurt my teeth. And while it's deci

Kewpie Mayonnaise: Disturbing but delicious

After years of waffling , I finally took the dive and purchased a bottle of Kewpie mayo. Kewpie mayo's premium price and disturbing packaging had previously prevented me from buying it, but Grub Street blogger Ian Knauer's Flavor Ammo post about it convinced me to give the baby-themed mayo a chance. For the unfamiliar, Kewpie is a popular Japanese brand of mayonnaise that's often found in gourmet specialty stores, such as Eastern District in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It's also currently available for 10 bucks on Amazon . The package features a standing baby that could easily serve as a homicidal doll in a horror story. Adding to the unease brought about by the package, the mayonnaise comes in a bag. I can't be alone in my belief that a bag is a completely inappropriate container for mayonnaise. Because of these setbacks, Kewpie mayo takes some getting used to. Now that I've come to terms with the unsettling packaging, I've probably topp

Boar's Head Jerk Turkey is spicy

Via  Wikipedia "Jamaican jerk seasoning" .  At my local C Town deli counter, I was pondering what to get for my weekly cold cuts. I was the only person around, so the deli guy immediately asked what I wanted. In a panic, I blurted out, "Buffalo Chicken! No! Ummmmm ... [frantically panning the meat case] uh, Jerk Turkey!" He sliced it up and I was on my way. Now, I know next to nothing about what's in Jerk seasoning. I think it's Jamaican, and my understanding was that it had something like a mild curry flavor. In the case of Boar's Head's Jerk Turkey, it's apparently a chile-heavy dry rub. The heat blast was a shock when I bit into my lunchtime turkey sandwich. Boar's Head makes some tasty spiced meats. Their Salsalito Turkey and Blazin' Buffalo Chicken come to mind. Neither of those are as hot as the Jerk Turkey. So it made my brown bag lunch a lot more intense than I was expecting. I usually have a high spice tolerance, so make