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A review: Starbucks’ Black Forest and Ham Breakfast Sandwich

Come this fall, Starbucks will no longer offer breakfast sandwiches. Apparently, people care. I’m reassured that others feel as passionately about sandwiches as I do.

Due to a glut of Starbucks gift cards, I’ve been forced to spend unprecedented amounts of time in the venerable Seattle-based coffee chain’s many locations, a slave to plastic-enabled freeness.

These were the circumstances as I opted to eat at Starbucks instead of Queens’ famed Redwood Deli, which was next door. Making the incorrect but affordable choice, I decided to make the best of things by trying a soon-to-be-extinct Starbucks breakfast sandwich. Eying the pastry case offerings, I opted for the “oven toasted and delicious” Black Forest and Ham Breakfast Sandwich for $2.95 plus tax (more importantly, free with gift card).

Overall, the sandwich disappointed me, but it wasn’t without its positive points. To wit:
  • The barista/sandwich artist was polite and and served the thing on a proper white plate — two things I haven’t experienced buying breakfast sandwiches at D’n’D.
  • The sandwich looked appetizing, featuring an abnormally large and tasty looking English muffin.
  • The sandy was quick to eat and filling.
  • The Starbucks did not reek of egg following the sandy’s preparation. However, I have an awful sense of smell, so maybe it did.
Pluses aside, this sandwich had big problems. Not as many as the now-scorched, homemade grilled cheese I’m presently forcing down, but I expect more from paid sandwich makers.

Negative points, also to wit:
  • The cheese, although it has a good cheddar bite, overpowers one’s palate.
  • In contrast, the titular ham barely registers. Its Black Forest origins are suspect. Where’s the shaved coconut?
  • The egg disc huge and unappealing.
  • The overall wore out its welcome before I could finish the sandy, turning the meal into a war of attrition that I ultimately won, luckily.
The whole experience taught me the following mathematical junk food breakfast sandwich truism:

Homemade > Egg McMuffin > D’n’D egg ’n’ bacon sandy > The ’Bucks’ doomed offering

Note: Sandwich photo is not my own; is via flickr user chrisheuer.
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