Skip to main content

… like a phoenix, only to fly away

We’re back, briefly, after a few months away from the sandwich world.

As with our previous absences, we suspect you’re demanding an apology, and again, you’ll probably feel bad about that when you read why we’ve been away.

You see, late last November, we were excited to bring in a new batch of interns. Our summer interns were a distastefully rowdy bunch, all of them lazy and prone to no-call, no-shows. A new batch of collegians inexplicably looking to work for free was on its way to our office.

They seemed a bright bunch, but their flame was far from eternal. On their ill fated Mindy-led office tour, one of the interns fell out of step. He was yellow or green ... kind of a “citrusy” color, Mindy said.

Dying, the intern, whose name I can’t recall, hacked out his final words: an unintelligible series of guttural noises.

It wasn’t long after the other interns fell ill. The sick calls increased exponentially, and we began to consider calling the back-up interns from Colorado State. We talked to the sandylab staff, and they soon diagnosed an outbreak of Internal Bleeding — a fast-spreading disease unique to interns that unsurprisingly counts internal bleeding among its many symptoms.

You should be happy to learn that several interns survived, and we are making due without frivolities like fresh coffee and printed documents. Needless to say, we couldn’t bear eating sandwiches for the last few months as we grieved our lack of free employees.

We’re over it now.

However, this doesn’t mean we’ll be posting much more for now, if at all, as we’re packing our office and headed east. “East?” you ask. Yes, to the sandwich connoisseur’s Valhalla: New York City. They may have bullshit salsa, but that matters not. New York is home to The Delicatessens — the world’s most elite sandwich guild. Their presence is unavoidable in the city. It has to be; a lesser-known aspect of Mayor Giuliani’s efforts to make New York less scary included a thick slice of pork for The Delicatessens. As of Jan. 1, 1996, every commercial block of Manhattan must house no fewer than three delis.

From its Lower East Side headquarters, the guild decides the fate of the world’s sandwich eaters. Said eaters are in good hands; the guild’s ranks include several of the world’s top sandwich artisans, philosophers and engineers. Besides specialized sandwich skills, guild members learn a deadly form of hand-to-hand combat similar to Muay Thai, which is taught to them at orientation by an old, bearded Asian man in the back of Katz's Deli. Armed with their fists, knees and schmear knives, The Delicatessens have successfully defended their neighborhood from invading guilds on several occasions, most recently the Necromancer Incursion of 1951 and the Irish Blight of 1977.

We’re obviously thrilled to taste their creations.

In the meantime, we have some old reviews to revive and some new sandies to share. Get ready … for sandwiches!


Popular posts from this blog

Review: Pepperhouse Gourmaise

Being that Big Condiment still seems to think Mustardayonnaise  is a joke, I've been forced to seek out a suitable alternative. This search led me to Boar's Head's " Pepperhouse Gourmaise " spread. According to Boar's Head, Pepperhouse Gourmaise is "real mayonnaise with a touch of Boar's Head Deli Mustard and a house blend of black, white, pink and green peppercorns." They also claim that it goes well with poultry, beef and pork. What a pepperhouse might look like if it were a thing ( photo by Justin Sachtleben ) I can confirm that it goes well with poultry and pork (or at least ham — I haven't tried it with any other pig-meats). And the quality of the ingredients seems to live up to Boars Head's high standards. As a black pepper kind of guy, I'm impressed by their fancy pink peppercorns. Still, I can't say I'm satisfied with B.H.P.G. Its color is off-putting and the peppercorns hurt my teeth. And while it's deci

Kewpie Mayonnaise: Disturbing but delicious

After years of waffling , I finally took the dive and purchased a bottle of Kewpie mayo. Kewpie mayo's premium price and disturbing packaging had previously prevented me from buying it, but Grub Street blogger Ian Knauer's Flavor Ammo post about it convinced me to give the baby-themed mayo a chance. For the unfamiliar, Kewpie is a popular Japanese brand of mayonnaise that's often found in gourmet specialty stores, such as Eastern District in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It's also currently available for 10 bucks on Amazon . The package features a standing baby that could easily serve as a homicidal doll in a horror story. Adding to the unease brought about by the package, the mayonnaise comes in a bag. I can't be alone in my belief that a bag is a completely inappropriate container for mayonnaise. Because of these setbacks, Kewpie mayo takes some getting used to. Now that I've come to terms with the unsettling packaging, I've probably topp

Boar's Head Jerk Turkey is spicy

Via  Wikipedia "Jamaican jerk seasoning" .  At my local C Town deli counter, I was pondering what to get for my weekly cold cuts. I was the only person around, so the deli guy immediately asked what I wanted. In a panic, I blurted out, "Buffalo Chicken! No! Ummmmm ... [frantically panning the meat case] uh, Jerk Turkey!" He sliced it up and I was on my way. Now, I know next to nothing about what's in Jerk seasoning. I think it's Jamaican, and my understanding was that it had something like a mild curry flavor. In the case of Boar's Head's Jerk Turkey, it's apparently a chile-heavy dry rub. The heat blast was a shock when I bit into my lunchtime turkey sandwich. Boar's Head makes some tasty spiced meats. Their Salsalito Turkey and Blazin' Buffalo Chicken come to mind. Neither of those are as hot as the Jerk Turkey. So it made my brown bag lunch a lot more intense than I was expecting. I usually have a high spice tolerance, so make