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Quick sandy twofer

I have entered day three of my gas station sandwich tour of the Tech Center and Gateway Park. I keep craving them for unknown reasons … possibly the same force that compels me to drink a lot of gas station coffee sometimes. Tuesday's MEGA Turkey & Cheese was boring and not worth my time purchasing, eating or reviewing. Wednesday and Thursday's sandwiches were somewhat more compelling.

7-Eleven Tuna Salad Sandwich

It consisted of a fair amount of gray, creamy tuna salad on thin wheat bread sliced into two triangles. I was pleasantly surprised by its taste, which was sufficiently sweet and savory from relish and mayo while maintaining its tuna flavor. It was not too soggy, and sogginess as you well know is the biggest ruiner of prepackaged tuna, egg and chicken salad sandwiches. I detected something tangy that woke up my taste buds half way through the sandwich. I think it was lemon. But what cost this sandwich was its bread. Amazingly, it hardened to a stale crust within a minute of opening it. What is wrong with our sandwich packing technology that you can't get through a sandy without it going stale in your hands? What kind of God would allow this? I washed the sandwich down with a 11.9 ounce Go Fast Light Energy Drink, which was a mistake for several reasons that I will not go into here. To my credit, it was still probably a better beverage choice than the new Fusion Energy Coffee they're pushing.

Deli Express Sub Select Traditional Italian
with Spicy Ham, Salami, Provolone Cheese & Pepperoni on a Parmesan Roll

Not bad, not bad at all. This was just what I expected and I have no complaints. It was a decent size, featured a variety of sp
ice meats and the bread stayed soft until the end. The bread was quite tasty, in fact. It was a thick, cheesy, satisfactory loaf. I don't have much more to say about this particular sandwich. Instead, I would like to discuss some things I read on the wrapper. First, it says to microwave the sandwich for 45 seconds, which I forgot to do. Maybe it would have improved the taste, but I suspect it might have made the bread hard, too. Speaking of bread, the wrapper lies about what kind it is. Under the logo, the packaging claims the Traditional Italian's innards come "on a Parmesan Roll." The ingredients reveal that it is actually a "French Roll with Romano Cheese," and that it contains no Parmesan cheese. Romano's a wonderful cheese, don't get me wrong, but I feel like such a sap being lied to like that. I will never trust another soul. Finally, two facts I gleaned about the Salami: it is of the Cotto variety, and it contains, among other meat products, beef hearts. Again, the Salami contains beef hearts. For dessert, I enjoyed a Bimbo Rollo con Cajeta — basically a pancake covered in caramel syrup and rolled up. The pancake was made with concentrated goat milk.


Michael said…
Did you learn of the beef hearts before or after consuming the sandwich?
Alex Headrick said…
After for sure. That would have spooked me if I'd seen it in advance.

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