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Showing posts from February, 2009

Pandora's Sandwich

I awoke this morning to some unsettling news from The Freakin' Deacon of The Church of What's Happening Now. The Sandwich of Knowledge has arrived.

Its appearance indicates that the sandwipocolypse is nigh. This beastly pile of protein counts for at least two of the requisite four horsemen.

According to This is why you're fat, TSoK is built as such: "The bottom tier contains eight strips of bacon, six sausages and four burger paddies; followed by a second tier of black pudding; topped by a third tier comprised of two diced chicken breasts and six fried eggs."

It took me several readings to understand the entirety of this creation. The gospel comes from one known simply as "Luke." I'll attempt to walk you through it.

Bottom tier: Bacon (eight strips), sausage (six links) and burger patties (four).
That's the equivalent of two double bacon hamburgers and one hearty breakfast. In other words, three square meals, all at once. In one layer! Madness. Not e…